There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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