I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
