i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I cockslap morals
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
