Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
