there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
