There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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