Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
