I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
