the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
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