Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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