I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Boobs speak an international language.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
