I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
