im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
