We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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