my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize