doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
