i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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