I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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