im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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