did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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