Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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