you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
