guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
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I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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