please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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