He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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