I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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