Can i not drive my cunt home
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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