Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize