I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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