I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
