he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
there is puke in my bra ... again
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
