We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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