Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize