so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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