So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
