Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
