the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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