let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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