Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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