Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
