NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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