I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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