Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
