I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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