I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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