You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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