you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize