I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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