This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
