we have officially lost it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
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She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
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She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.