why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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