I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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