Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
