Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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