why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
