She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
