I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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